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PAIN
PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
PAINTING
PAINTING, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work: the ancients More…
PALACE
PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his More…
PALM
PALM, n. A species of tree having several varieties, of which the familiar "itching palm" (_Palma hominis_) is most widely distributed and sedulously cultivated. This noble More…
PALMISTRY
PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method (according to Mimbleshaw's classification) of obtaining money by false pretences. It consists in "reading character" in the wrinkles made by More…
PANDEMONIUM
PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer. When More…
PANTALOONS
PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a More…
PANTHEISM
PANTHEISM, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
PANTOMIME
PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
PARDON
PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
PASSPORT
PASSPORT, n. A document treacherously inflicted upon a citizen going abroad, exposing him as an alien and pointing him out for special reprobation and outrage.
PAST
PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. A moving line called the Present parts it from an imaginary period known More…
PASTIME
PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
PATIENCE
PATIENCE, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
PATRIOT
PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole. The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.
PATRIOTISM
PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a More…
PEACE
PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. O, what's the loud uproar assailing Mine ears without cease? 'Tis the voice of the More…
PEDESTRIAN
PEDESTRIAN, n. The variable (an audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.
PEDIGREE
PEDIGREE, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.
PENITENT
PENITENT, adj. Undergoing or awaiting punishment.
The Devil's dictionary from 1911 University Dictionaries
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